Dear Martha

I only have three more days left at home here in Czech. The internal, contemplative introvert-thoughts are running wild as I try to process everything that it means to straddle life on two sides of the ocean, yet to be here in Czech right now. I've spent much time pondering to myself, and when I voice my thoughts, they tend to come out jumbled and incoherent sometimes (thanks, Mom, for being patient with that!).

Life has been really good here these past few weeks. It has been especially sweet this summer. Czech is beautiful. I have had days to rest. Mom and I have ventured out many times for various occasions, or even just for grocery shopping. I have watched beautiful sunsets and eaten as many vegetables as I can possibly eat (veggies are awesome). I've even had time for art, which doesn't happen very often (though I wish it did in normal life!). I got to spend time with old friends. Each Sunday service at our church has been touching and encouraging as I have seen our church change and grow just even in these past two years since I left for college.

Yes, it has seemed almost too good to be true, which I can't quite process.

I know that the Lord appoints different seasons to our lives and that each one is a gift from Him. I just came off of a season of hard work and running at my highest relational capacity, only by his strength - Gull Lake. I then came home to a much slower pace of life, which was wonderful and yet a learning process too. I have this feeling that the Lord is trying to get my attention to show me what rest looks like - as a good gift from Him alone.

I think I'm not alone in saying it's nice to feel useful. When I was at Gull Lake, there were always jobs to be filled and things to be done and people to be loved on. Sometimes it's easier then to "connect" with the Lord when you are experiencing this rush of giving. When life slows down, and it is a time of simply sitting still at Jesus' feet, my flesh somehow wants to fight that. "Aren't I doing something wrong? Aren't there things to be done?"

There's this story in Luke that a lot of us know well - the one about Mary and Martha. Mary sits at the feet of Jesus to cling to his every word. Then there's that little verse in the middle of the story: "But Martha was distracted with much serving." (Luke 10:40) The story ends by Jesus telling Martha that, actually, Mary has chosen what is right and that which lasts forever.

Serving is an amazing privilege. But sitting at the feet of Jesus in silence and stillness amidst everything else is an important decision to make...one that I'm being reminded of in this last week. Oh, the goodness I have missed in the moments in between that I have been "troubled and anxious about many things", instead of soaking in precisely the moment the Lord has me in.

I will celebrate in the amazing three weeks I have had here! There is no shame necessary in saying that many mornings I just sat on the porch, not doing a whole lot. I spent quite a bit of time just enjoying beautiful places - while driving, or on short walks here and there with Mom and Kaylee. I absolutely loved taking extra time to enjoy meals with my parents. Those are the moments of stillness - ones that have meaning too. I did often feel the need to "do" though, which I'm realizing now was not the place the Lord wanted me to be.

The Lord is not just pleased with our works and our service to him. He does love that. But, He wants our hearts most of all. May I not feel the pressure to run around and accomplish anything, but may I learn to sit at His feet and simply be still and listen.