353: The number of days since I was last at home.
2 airplanes and I'm back. It's pretty surreal.
And I can't even begin to say how good it feels.
I've seen my parents quite a few times this past year because they were on sabbatical/home assignment for 8 months. But I haven't been home in a year. It was wonderful having my siblings in the States, and I loved seeing my parents often, but I will say, it was hard in a unique way feeling disconnected from home.
When I left for college, I was uprooted. I knew it would happen. I didn't expect that it would be so difficult to not have any family in Czech when I left home. I felt like life stopped at home. It seemed that life in Czech had just been a dream. I knew my memories and could recall stories and friendships, but why did it feel so distant? My anchor of home ceased to be constant.
These are things that all TCKs have to face - a constant struggle between homes. Where does true life happen? Where do we actually belong? Both places. And neither. When I'm in one place, I'm all there, but it's hard to be a part of both at once. That's why it gets complicated when you leave part of yourself in each place. I'm still working on being able to be everything at once. All experiences and places form who I am today.
My hope for these next 4 weeks that I'm here is to get re-rooted in Czech so that when I go back to the States, my heart is firmly planted in both of my homes - the States and Czech. My other prayer is that being here will remind me of my true roots in Christ.
"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness." - Colossians 2:6-7