Thursday, February 27, 2014

The more the less

Since coming to Moody, I've come to this odd feeling.

The more I learn, the less I feel I know.

Sounds like something Socrates would like, right? But the problem is, I don't like it all that much. It's humbling, it's intimidating, it's disorientating. Professors are challenging us to really think, to not take our beliefs lightly (I mean that in the best way), to defend our faith accurately, and to understand the Word more deeply. By asking questions though, it makes me realize I know less answers.

Yes, I grew up in a Christian family. I've been going to church since I was little. I've heard sermons, read my Bible, and memorized verses for kids camps. But as I delve into knowing the Lord and His Word, I realize the vastness of who He is.

He is Holy.

Whew. It makes me feel insufficient. If God is so GREAT, what I am doing thinking I can understand? But then I realize that that's just it. The fact that I can't understand completely shows that He is God. With a capital "G". He created the world, the laws of how the earth works, he created my mind, and he knows infinitely more than I do or could ever.

Aren't I blessed to serve such a God?

Aren't I blessed to get the opportunity to learn from Him?

Isn't it amazing that I can actually have a relationship with Him?

So yes, right now, the more I learn, the less I feel like I know. From what I've heard, as I've talked to upper-classmen, this is normal. They say that as you begin to settle into classes more, things start falling into place in your head and heart.

I'm reminded that God does call us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds.

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."
 - Romans 12:2

If you asked me a theology question right now, I may just say, "let me go look that up," or "I need to look into that more". The truth of the Bible, God's deity, goodness, love, grace, and mercy are still completely sure in my heart, but I have a hard time articulating "why" or "how".

I'm learning to ask questions, or trying to.

He is renewing my mind. He is shaking up all that I knew, so that He can put it back together. So that I can discern his will, and what is good. I will patiently wait for Him to put the pieces where He wants them, and in the meantime, all I can do is be in awe of Him.

He is worthy of all our praise.

One last thing: God is love. If all else seems complicated, this doesn't. But more on that another day. 

1 comment:

  1. I really enjoyed this particular topic Claire. Hope we can talk about it when you are here next week.

    I'm also hoping you will be my photographer too...I need some professional shots for LinkedIn. You seem like just the right person to accomplish that!


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