Thursday, April 17, 2014

Longing

“If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.” - C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

In other words: I can only conclude that God placed eternity in my heart (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

I woke up to photos from Mom this morning in my iMessage. Mom and Dad made their way back across the ocean to Czech yesterday. I felt like my heart was pulled out of me for a moment when I saw the pictures, as I felt a deep longing to be where they are right now.

I've never stayed in the States when my parents went to Czech. It's a new reality to not have boarded that plane with them to go home. I'm thankful I'll see them in three weeks back in the U.S., but it's the country itself that tugs on my heart. 


And at the same time, I wouldn't want to be anywhere other than right here where the Lord has me now. After seeing those photos, I got my breakfast and went out to the lounge to meet Michelle for our time of reading our Bibles and praying together. That time is precious to me. I walked over to my New Testament class with a group of girls from my floor. What a privilege to have these sisters in Christ and to be learning about the Bible.

My heart is now equally torn between two places. 

When I'm reminded of something I love about one place, I long to be there. But then I long to be in the other place as well. It's this back and forth motion that I constantly feel. I don't know where I feel loyal to. Sometimes it feels like I have to choose one or the other because being attached to two places is just too hard. These are struggles that every TCK* has to deal with.


In my Research Writing class, we've been reading Till We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis. The book is based on the myth of Cupid and Psyche and explores human nature and the supernatural versus natural world. I am baffled, confused, inspired and intrigued by this story. Although I still don't understand the complete meaning of the book (its allegories are intricate), there is one thing I do understand:

"The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing--to reach the Mountain [where the god lives], to find the place where all the beauty came from...my country, the place where I ought to have been born. Do you think it all meant nothing, all the longing? The longing for home?" - Psyche, from Till We Have Faces


May I also see this longing for one perfect home as a joyous thing (even when it's really hard). To not belong in one place just points me all the more to the truth that God has us here on earth for a time. He has placed eternity in our hearts for a reason. Those who believe that Jesus is Lord, confess that they are broken and unworthy, and accept the free gift of new life from God, will live forever with the Lord (Romans 10:9-10). That's what tomorrow, Good Friday, is all about. It's about Christ dying on the cross for our sins so that our relationship with God could be renewed, through faith.

God does not tell us that our lives on earth will be easy, but He tells us we will receive the best reward of all for being faithful under trials: Life.

"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him." - James 1:12

When I long for something that doesn't exist here on earth (like being both in Czech and the U.S.), I will continually remind myself that this is actually the Lord's intent for me! I will choose to fix my eyes on Him and run this race on the path that he leads me until I arrive Home.


*Third Culture Kid

2 comments:

  1. This post was BEAUTIFUL. Thank you so much for this. That first picture is absolutely breath-taking. It's so wonderful and SO encouraging to meet other bloggers from around the world who love Jesus and aim to please and glorify Him. I'm thankful for you, dear friend. :)

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  2. I really enjoyed this post for several reasons Claire. One is that C. S. Lewis is one of my favorite authors, so it is great that you are reading him. If I was to choose a brain at birth I would choose his! Second, I don't always follow his depth of thought and intricate allegories. As hard as I try and as beautiful as it is explained to me I'm not sure I'm at his depth. But the best thing about this blog post is that you are reading C. S. Lewis at college!!! Awesome that you are there and we can talk about all of this someday!!! Love you.

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